Tuesday, January 23, 2007

A strange association

Baby was slobbering on me earlier - it made me think of Jabba the Hut.

It started during a phone call from Tantie. Baby felt he had something to add and yanked the phone away from me. Within seconds the handset was covered in drool... I was concerned that the phone would short out and Tantie would be electrocuted on the other end. The last thing to go through her mind would be the sounds of shlurping and gurgling.

By the time I got the phone back it was so wet that the saliva was literally dripping off the end. Even I was disgusted and it must have shown in my expression.

Baby hooped with laughter and reached for my face. He grabbed a fistful of cheek and lower eyelid in one hand and my lower jaw with the other, then hauled himself forward until he was sprawled on my chest and in attack position.

All I could do was watch in horrified paralysis as his dripping maw approached. He crammed my nose into his mouth and went to work. His two little teeth anchored onto my left nostril allowing his tongue free access to the right. He was so delighted with himself that he giggled as the ooze escaped up into my nasal passages and down my throat, making me cough.

I struggled to free myself but his grasp on my eyelid and jaw was solid. Finally I used my fingers to pry his jaw off of my nose and then the rest of my face. I put him down onto the bed as quickly as safety would allow and went to the bathroom to clean myself off.

It took about a half-hour for the red tooth- and fingernailmarks to disappear, and I'm pretty sure I now have a few new wrinkles.
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Epilogue

The thought briefly crossed my mind that this was Baby's version of a kiss. However, tonight he did pretty much the same thing to Twit. It didn't matter how hard he yanked, that fluffbrained feline loved every minute of it. If affection is still implied, it's apparantly not limited to Mama alone.

Oh well.

4 comments:

Ali said...

Oh, these last two posts were gross!! What excellent birth control!

I'm eating dinner as I'm reading this and thanking my lucky stars there were no accompanying pictures!!!

Andrew said...

i have to agree with ali. That sounds revolting. YUCKY

Claire said...

Oh, you are too squeamish! Just wait 'til it's your turn.

Henny said...

I laughed till I cried...I'm still crying...