Say what?

"Ah Miss Blaine, you dance like a herd of cattle. You are a rare woman who lights up a room simply by leaving it!"

I love that line from the otherwise (sadly) forgettable Kate & Leopold. It's the one moment of this movie Husband enjoyed - what can I say, he's more of a Bruce Willis type.

My children have a fascinating way of relating to me, too. Some examples that stand out:

Most times when I pick Rascal up from Sunday school he bursts into tears at the very sight of me. Part sheer joy at my return, part fury that play time is over. Then he gets embarrassed for crying in front of his friends. I'm tellin' ya dudes, look the other way. Now.

In contrast, the last time I went to collect Kye he was so happy to see me that he farted powerfully. So powerfully in fact, that a diaper change was urgently required.

Tweenie tries to say the right thing and honestly, too. She recently told me--

"Mom, you look good enough for your age! Why do you always put on makeup when you leave the house? Dad's the one you should be trying to impress and, well, he's seen you without and still loves you. Can we leave now?"

That was supposed to be a compliment. I'm still scratching my head about it.

So to sum up, I look "good enough" and my mere presence drives my sons to tears and bowel movements.

I am terrified of the teenage years. You might say I'm soiling myself.