Showing posts with label biting. Show all posts
Showing posts with label biting. Show all posts

Monday, May 21, 2007

Battle Scars

Today I got a hickie. It's been a while.

Last time I got one, my father laughed. It wasn't, needless to say, the reaction I expected.

Today's scarlet beauty came courtesy of Kye, clutching a little bit of loose-ish chest skin somewhere between my neck and boob in his talon-tipped claw. Twisting. Yanking.

Me - Shouting. Frantically loosening. Checking for Permanent Damage.

When Husband saw it, he laughed.

Yes, this is what I have to deal with. If it's not The Claw yanking my bottom lip down over my collarbone or my eyelid across my nose, Big Tooth makes an appearance.

Incoming!!

Wet, dripping jaws of Death distract me from its approach with peals of baby laughter and a fat little body pinioning Mama on the picnic blanket with ominously foul-smelling diaper firmly planted on my ribcage.

Bottom line: were it not for the bony nature of a nose, it would have had a hickie today too.

Thursday, May 17, 2007

When it rains, it pours!

During a momentary lull in our daily chaos, I urgently needed a telephone break with my sister. I was behind on the family gossip and then there was recent plot developments on a certain show we watch (which I will never admit in public) that required detailed analysis. We gabbed for maybe 3 or 4 minutes.

Then the lull passed. I suppose it was the 'calm before the storm' or something.

Kye began to hitch his way up my pant leg, grunting with effort. The noises drew Rascal away from Christmas of Enchantment, who decided now would be a good time for a snack. I hobbled over to the fridge with Kye still firmly attached to my calf and pulled out a yogurt - usually a safe choice.

Well it was the wrong thing this time, and Rascal started to wail. When he gets into full turbine-strength bellows, there's not much you can do to stop it even if you have the sheer luck of figuring out what, exactly, you did wrong.

So at this point, I asked Tantie to "hang on a sec" because not only was the ambient volume an issue, but I also couldn't keep the handset wedged under my chin with two squirming boys fighting for total lap domination.

Somewhere in the midst of all this wonderfulness, Tweenie came in asking if BFF could come over. She had to shout to be heard. At this point, Tantie had been hanging on for many secs, so I snatched up the phone so she knew I was still there.

"I'm sensing this isn't the best time to talk," she brilliantly deduced. But I wasn't ready to relinquish the few moments of adult conversation I get in a day, so I struggled to talk, pacify, and keep from injury as best I could.

That's when Rascal bit me in the butt. You may recall this has happened before. By the time I had all the kids sorted out (Kye in his crib, Tweenie working on homework, and Rascal in Time Out), Tantie had to go.

Apparently she has a life. Go figure.