Separation Anxiety

I've been away.

Away from home, away from my kids.

There were no palm trees, cheap Mai-Tais or hunky snorkeling guides because this was a working vacation. It was, however, the first time I've gone anywhere on my own since Before Children.

In the years B.C., I slept in when convenient, shopped when I could afford to, read a good book during dinner, and lolled in the bathtub for a good hour when the mood struck.

Then the era changed to the years A.D. (After Delivery) - and I call it that only because After Oopsing doesn't sound as good. Now I never sleep in, shop at Target (when I'm lucky), share my measly 5-minute shower with at least 2 wriggling people, and the only reading I'm doing at the table is the Riot Act. You'd do it to, if Tarzan and Jane were swinging on the cord of the venetian blinds singing the "Lonely Goatherd" refrain to the excited clapping and cheering of little brother Kye.

Still, as I stood on the curb unloading my suitcase and preparing to leave, I had the paranoid urge to say goodbye properly. Just in case my plane would crash.

"I love you so much, sweetie! Tell me you'll always remember that?"

"Mommm, stop! You're embarrassing me!"

"Gimme a big kiss and hug."

"Mommmm!"

I discreetly wiped my eyes at the airline counter. I bravely put on a wobbly smile for the security checkpoint guards. I wore my sunglasses at the departure gate and stood facing the window.

And then, on the plane I sobbed. I was so sure that I had seen my family for the very last time.

While I was away, I slept poorly - there was no one to kick me. I lost my appetite - I haven't eaten a full meal in one sitting in years. My book went unread - I couldn't concentrate without the background noise of a full-blown ruckus.

I called every night, and sometimes during the day.

"Do you miss me yet?"

"It's awesome, Mom! Dad took us to McDonald's again, and then to Krispy Kreme after. Then we all watched Spiderman 3 and no one had nightmares! We're rockin' the house!"

"Soooooo, do you miss me yet?"

"Um, Dad thought I did, so he bought me two more WebKinz."

After that I got a little huffy with Husband explaining the "spoiling kids rotten" thing, which made me feel a little better (Riot Act, remember?). I then enjoyed the last few days of my time away properly.

Yodelay-i yodelay-i yodeloo!