Lessons learned at a 3-year-old's birthday party

Numero Uno: Don't bother putting pants on little boys. Not only will they become completely filthy, food will be shoved into all sorts of "areas" whether they be covered or not. A bath is pretty much a given.

Duh Deux: Grapes make excellent missiles.

Three: Coke, chocolate marble cake, and fruit with whipping cream combine to create A Perfect Storm. And by storm I mean royal fit. It's a trifecta, really.

Fore! Even birthday boys can be put in Time Out. They reserve the right to continue aforementioned snit alone in the bedroom and may resort to launching any and all breakable objects stupidly forgotten there by mama.

Five: Following the food fight, it may take one several many hours to tidy up. Blogging is not a good way to pretend elves will arrive while your back is turned and magically clean it for you (but it's worth a try).

Next year I'm going to make the fun folks at McDonald's PlayLand deal with this for me.